A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did you get for your birthday? I got older

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

thumb_up thumb_down -11

http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -11

gay porn...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops