A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

Thats what she said

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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