- Anti Joke

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

What's blue? The sky.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.