What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Continents are large islands.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops