What do you call your mom? Mom

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no pun intended

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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9/11

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops