This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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