Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Carrot fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down -2

FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A dog was barking at a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops