- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops