Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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David Cameron

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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