What is pink and gets wet a tounge

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops