A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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69

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Justin

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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