What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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