Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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