This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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