What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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it's funny because it's funny

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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womens rights.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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