Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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