How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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Wright flyer

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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