You wanna see something really scary?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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RUN

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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