Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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