Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Women's rights.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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God. God.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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