Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Poop!!

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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