Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...