Banana Hamock.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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David Cameron

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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