Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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