Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Knock, Knock No one was home.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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