Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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What's blue? The sky.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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I love pissing people off :P

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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watch a i d s left

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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