What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

jamie is a noob jamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noob

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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