Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops