Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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