A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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