A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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