Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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