A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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A shark ate your mom

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops