If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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save me from the nothing ive become

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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arena football

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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