What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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