Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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