roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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