Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Buzi vagy!

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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