Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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what's up? my penis.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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