What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

Compton

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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