what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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