How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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im gey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops