What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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