What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

GIVE

thumb_up thumb_down -113

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Whats Obama's last name?

thumb_up thumb_down +120

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops