How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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