a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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17

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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this site is funny.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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whats annoying and black? black people

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Boom.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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