A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

GIVE

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

Women's Rights

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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