I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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