Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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