Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Jellybeans

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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