How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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