im at school

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Hello

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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