Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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being sober in a bar fight

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Poop

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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PICKLES

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops