Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops