Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops