What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

why do women rip you off? Because they like money

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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