What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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PerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerúPerú

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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