When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops