What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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hear hear

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Albert <3 Hunter

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops