How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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I'm Batman.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops